Home at Last

What an amazing journey we have been on these last 6 weeks! You came home with an apnea monitor that had two leads and then wrapped around your chest. Anytime the leads came unplugged it would alarm with a deafening beep.  It got my heart racing quite a few times. Boy was I happy when we got to take that machine back.

06/06 Our darling pineapple. You ARE a little sweetie! There's your cord sticking out too.

06/09 You only cry when your hangry. Can see the blue band under your onesie?

Everyone commented on how much you looked like daddy. All of your nurses would say she sure looks like her daddy. You even had a space between your first two toes like him. Every once in a while mommy could see herself, and it made her happy when someone said that you looked like me because that didn't happen very often.

One of the most panic inducing moments was going to bed with you in the cradle next to me. I would wake up in a panic, and have to check that you were breathing. Daddy would wake up in a panic because we didn't tell the nurses how much you ate. Daddy was meant to be a nurse.

You were only allowed to have a few visitors in the NICU, so the babies would have a decreased risk for infection. Your parents, Grandpa Ransford (and Nicu your guard dog), Grandma Dayna, Aunt Ann, Aunt Rebecca, Nana, and Uncle Seth were the first ones to see you.

On our way home we stopped by to see your great-grandma Evelyn. She always refers to you as "our baby", because she loves you so much. Once we got home you had a few more visitors. A lot of the family would watch you on NICVIEW, so they felt connected to you and your story.

NICU

Once you were born, they could tell you needed more support to thrive. You were admitted to the NICU, and mommy and daddy were told that we can expect you to remain in the NICU until your due date. This was 6 weeks away, because you were born at 34 weeks 3 days.

The first week of your life got scary fast. Daddy gave you a blessing, and it helped us feel peace because the Spirit was very strong, but you had quite a fight before you. You had a scalp IV, lines placed in your umbilical cord, lights on you for jaundice, a feeding tube, caffeine, antibiotics, a hole in your heart (that closed up on its own), you started out with a nasal cannula for oxygen, then went to CPAP, and eventually they had to put you on a ventilator. To help your lungs work better you received surfactant and were rotated like a little rotisserie chicken. I never prayed so hard, and I asked everyone for their prayers as well.

Each week you got better and better, and the countdown of when we could go home began two weeks after you were born. The countdown had to be reset several times because you stopped breathing and wouldn’t start breathing without being roused. Mommy and Daddy ached to bring you home, but were grateful that the hospital had a camera that was on you almost constantly, so we could see you even when we were at home. One night (at 1 am) mommy was sobbing because she needed to be close to you, she couldn’t stop crying.  Daddy suggested we drive over to the hospital, so we did and peace was restored, until we had to leave you again. That was one of the hardest things to do. Each step away from you felt like my heart was being torn apart. How could I be expected to walk away from my precious baby girl? The wonderful nurses made it possible for me to feel safe, they knew a lot more about keeping you safe then I did, and I was grateful for them! Finally, we were told we could room in with you (without the devastating phone call 30 minutes later saying your countdown was reset). This means we spent a night at the hospital in a separate room (they actually gave us 2 nights), with you in a bed right next to us, feeding you, changing you, and watching over you ourselves. That was terrifying but exciting.

June 2, 2017 we got to take you for your “ride.”  The nurses in the NICU would say “ride” instead of go home, because they found they generally had better outcomes if they didn’t jinx it.

04/25 Fighting hard to get your lungs working.

Picture of the IV that had to be placed in you head.

Under the lights for your jaundice.

Protecting your little eyes with some stylish goggles.

Out of the lights rocking you CPAP helmet.

Darling little squishy face.

04/30 1 week old. CPAP Helmet came off, lines in your belly taken out, and mom gave you a bath.

05/04 You and your accomplice are obeying the rules, and you'll be off high flow oxygen soon.

05/05 Tried to nurse today, and you can regulate your own temperature. You're now in a big girl bed!

05/07 2 weeks old. Spiky hair after your bath. Your hair was so long we could see it flowing in the ultrasounds.

05/08 Watching your latest adventure on NICVIEW. We were some of the first in the state to be able to watch our baby on a live feed. What a blessing for your mommy's troubled heart!

05/09 Our little burrito baby. Bundled up to keep your temperature up.

Shortly after being wrapped up. You always have been a "Mover and a Shaker".

05/11 Daddy keeping watch over your stats.

Mother's Day in the NICU. I'm so glad you were born!

05/16 You pulled out your NG tube, letting us all know you wanted to come home.

05/18 7 day count reset because you wouldn't breathe without being roused.

05/20 You tried room air today. You're doing so well!

05/22 Your countdown got reset again today.

One month old, 6 lbs 8 oz, 19 inches long.

You thought mom was overdoing it with all of the pictures. You're so modest.

05/25 You weren't too sure about mom's hairstyle choice.

05/28 You got a new stylist.

05/30 Today was your due date. You weigh 7 lbs 3 oz, and are 20 inches long.

05/31 We roomed in with you, so you could come home to your room.

06/02 We got to say goodbye to the NICU, Molly sent us home.

06/02 Your long awaited car ride. Where are you two taking me? Is this safe?

More About Your Arrival

Daddy and mommy were at St Mark's for another doctor's appointment the Friday before you were born, and you could feel the concern of the doctors rising. They wanted us to check into a hospital and do some overnight tests. They let us know that we would probably want to choose a hospital we felt comfortable delivering in, so we went to Timpanogos hospital, because daddy worked there at one point, they were closer to home, and they had a NICU (we didn't want to be separated from you for one moment). I was feeling oddly at peace, because heaven felt extremely close.

After consulting with the doctors we decided that it would be best for both of us if mom delivered you via cesarean section, because mom had preeclampsia. They had to give me Magnesium to make it so I didn't have seizures. It made me so hot that I felt like I was standing above flowing lava at Mount Doom. Becky our nurse, was so sweet! She would get wash cloths wet, spin them around in circles to cool them off, then put them on my forehead. She also covered me with ice packs, and turned the thermostat down as low as it could go.

Mommy was rolled back to surgery, got a spinal block (after two tries), and then daddy got to join her and he watched the whole thing. The doctors kept pushing down really hard on mom’s stomach, and decided they would need forceps or a vacuum to get you out. Luckily, he gave it one more try and your perfect little head popped right out. Then came the part where my breath caught as I waited to hear you take your first breath. Time slowed down as I waited, and I started to get anxious. Then it came! Your banshee cry pierced my heart and tears started rolling down my cheeks. You made it! You were here!

Daddy was right there by you, as they checked your vitals. You were a warrior! You were breathing on your own, but they were a little concerned, and knew you would need some oxygen. They wrapped you up and brought you over to me so our cheeks could touch, providing skin to skin contact, which was very healing for mommy. I listened to your soft cries as you told me all about your traumatic experience thus far, and I did my very best to calm you and let you know of my deep love for you. Our precious little one was here, and we were elated!

Your Arrival

Your given name: Evangeline Virginia Sorensen

Weight: 5 perfect pounds
Height: 18 inches precisely
Time of arrival: 12:14 pm
Hospital where you were born: Timpanogos Regional Hospital

Funny Story

Mommy wasn't doing so well keeping food down, and daddy did everything he could to keep us fed. He would say to mommy, “Tell me anything you want, and I mean ANYTHING, and I'll make it for you." Mommy usually settled for eggs and toast, but one day all she wanted was a corn dog from Hot Dog on a Stick. It was an intense feeling, using my imagination I could sense how good it would smell and taste. My mind was set; I would love nothing more than that corn dog. 

Daddy drove us to the mall, and my excitement started to build. We were almost there! We arrived, only to find a note that said something about them being "sorry" about not being there. You can imagine my disappointment. I was crushed. I thought, we’ll just have to wait. We were informed that the employees randomly leave and don't usually come back for quite a while. I lost it! The tears started to stream down my face, I don't remember ever feeling a disappointment like that. 

Daddy drove us home and decided he would do whatever he could to fill this void mommy was feeling. Mom put up her swollen feet and daddy ran to the store. Daddy prepared us the most delicious corn dogs and cheese on a stick you can imagine, from scratch! They were incredible! They fulfilled my every desire, and became one of my favorite meals. Daddy sure delivered! Never have I witnessed a love like his. Daddy loves us! So much!!

Third Trimester

One bonus of being a type 1 diabetic when pregnant is you don't have to do the glucose test, and you get lots of ultrasounds to check in on your little one. Mommy saw lots of doctors and would drive an hour to St Mark's hospital to meet with diabetic specialists to check that we were both doing well.

Never have I worked so hard to keep my blood sugars regulated, as I have when you were inside of me. Every high and every low devastated me, and made me anxious for you. It was incredibly difficult, but YOU are oh so worth it! Daddy was working right alongside me every step of the way. He would test my blood sugar, pullover so I could vomit, make meals, help at school, and attend hypnobirthing classes with me, because that's what I wanted. One moment that will forever stand out to me is when, I told him I was worried I wasn't eating enough healthy foods, because it took too long to prepare or I couldn't find anything appetizing. I was feeling overwhelmed. Daddy stepped in and saved the day. Not only did he carefully prepare a variety of healthy snacks, but he wrote down how many carbs were in each portion on a piece of tape, so I wouldn't have to worry about that aspect either. I was now overwhelmed with love and gratitude that this man was your father. I pray that you can one day find a love as true as that.

You seemed to me to be constantly on the move. Rolling, hiccuping, pushing, and thrusting, over and over again. The only thing I could find to help you settle down was when daddy put his hand on my belly. We would be driving down the road and I'd be sucking on my ginger treats feeling rather ill, so I'd grab your dad's hand and place it on top of you. You would immediately calm, and I wouldn't feel so nauseated. I could feel this sense of love shooting from you to him. It was incredible!